Capitalist Heroes, Communist Rhetoric

An Open Ed Piece (Humor Included, Logic Optional)

There is a special place in the Indian imagination where contradictions go to relax, sip coconut water, and live happily ever after. This is the same dreamy landscape where film stars can single-handedly overthrow corrupt systems on screen, then drive home in cars that cost more than the GDP of a small tehsil. Welcome to the land of Capitalist Heroes and Communist Rhetoric, where ideology bends with the flexibility of a yoga instructor and the sincerity of a monsoon weather forecast.

Let’s begin with our beloved “common man champion” hero — the on-screen worker who storms the villain’s mansion yelling slogans about the oppression of the masses. Off-screen, however, he is the proud owner of several mansions himself, each with a swimming pool large enough to comfortably host the aforementioned oppressed masses, should he ever feel generous.

Their scripts scream, “Down with the rich!” Their lifestyles whisper, “But not this rich.”

It’s a beautiful duality — like wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt purchased from a luxury boutique.

The irony doesn’t stop at the movie theatre. Attend any awards show and you’ll hear stars praising “the struggles of the ordinary Indian” while sporting diamonds that could blind a satellite. You know, simple things. Relatable things. Things the average Indian discusses while waiting for the metro.

And the people? Ah, the people are magnificent. Their suspension of disbelief is so powerful it deserves its own national award. They can watch their favorite hero punch inequality in the face for three hours, then affectionately defend his 100-crore paycheck because “Bhai deserves it.” This is not hypocrisy; this is cultural multitasking.

Politicians at least try to hide their contradictions. Actors? They dance with theirs on screen — sometimes literally — and we throw confetti. You have to admire that kind of confidence.

Meanwhile, every film industry press release is a breathtaking blend of leftist poetry and corporate ambition:

“This film exposes capitalist greed and will release across 6,000 screens worldwide, with a record-breaking marketing budget.”

Marx weeps. The producers laugh. The audience buys popcorn.

Should we call out these hypocrisies? Should we expect ideological consistency from people who spend half their lives pretending to be other people? Maybe not. If anything, their contradictions reflect our own. India loves heroic socialism — but only the theatrical, good-looking, well-lit kind. We want equality in principle and a Range Rover in practice.

And that, dear reader, is the secret of our cinematic and cultural ecosystem:

We don’t watch movies for political alignment. We watch them for emotional subsidies.

So the next time you see a superstar shouting, “Power to the people!” while wearing a watch that costs more than the average Indian’s lifetime savings, don’t get confused. Just applaud the performance. It takes immense talent to deliver communist rhetoric while living a life that would make capitalism blush.

After all, this is India — the only place where you can be a socialist on screen, a capitalist off screen, and a national treasure in both.

Generated by ChatGPT